It’s impossible to escape the news out of the United States these days. Currently, the GOP is looking to confirm an asshole to the Supreme Court. Yes, that’s right. An asshole. I refuse to type his name here. I will refer to him as an ‘asshole’.
Now before you get all upset with me for using such a harsh word, I will say, although I shouldn’t have to, that this is my opinion. As with all opinions ever, you have the ability to stop reading my post now. You have the right to disagree with me about my opinion. And I still have the right to have one. So please, before you flood my inbox with hate mail, just stop and think about if it’s really worth it to be mean to me just because I have an opinion.
I watched some of the asshole hearings and while I was watching this guy being questioned, I knew deep down, “Wow, this guy is such an asshole.” I don’t think that about a lot of people. Really. I don’t. His furrowed brow, his constant blinking, his monotone answers, and his ability to play dumb when asked simple questions really got to me. I would never trust a guy like that… I’ve learned my lesson.
I saw the Dad whose child was murdered in the Florida shooting walk over to him to try to shake his hand. The asshole really proved that I was right by snubbing him. Major asshole.
Now here we are today with asshole status and a woman has come forward detailing an alleged sexual assault by the man who is waiting to be confirmed as the next Supreme Court Justice. Yikes. Wow. Where do I even start?
My husband and I had a chat about the case last night. Should Professor Ford, the woman, follow through with a hearing? Or should she stay the course and insist the FBI do their job and investigate this further?
I tried to imagine myself in her situation (a fictional story created with my imagination not a representation of actual events that happened to Professor Ford):
My attacker is about to be confirmed to the highest job possible in the US, a lifetime appointment. Only myself, my husband, and my therapist know what happened to me that night. What he did to me. I knew him fairly well a long time ago, and he attacked me. I had a few drinks but I knew what he was doing. He locked me in a room. Held me down, turned up the music, and covered my mouth.
Should I speak up? Do I warn others? I mean we have background checks for all kinds of jobs, right? Considering this position, people would be interested in knowing this information.
But I’m terrified. My stomach is in knots. I’m dizzy with anxiety. At times I feel like I can’t breathe because I remember that night so well. The fear. I thought I was going to die. He was going to take me and he didn’t care what happened to me.
No. Don’t speak up.
Because no one will believe me anyway. And if I do speak up, they will laugh in my face. They will say that I’m making it up or they will call me a liar. They will say I’m a slut or they will harass me and my family and I will have to remember this fear and this pain for the rest of my life. Better to just move on. Let it go. Forget about it. It’s not that big of a deal.
Look what’s happening now. We have members of the GOP saying they don’t believe her. Why? What has disqualified her from being trusted? Just because she’s speaking out. That’s why. I heard she’s had to move house. There are probably government researchers trying to find any dirt possible on her or her family members. They say she must be after something… she’s probably a left wing nut job. Because you know, politics is generally more important than the safety and sanity of your family, right?
That’s the narrative. That’s always the narrative. It’s what women have had to endure since the dawn of time. It’s why we’re tired. It’s why we’re angry. It’s why we have the Me Too and Time’s Up movements. It’s why we march in the streets. It’s why we fight for equality. It’s why I wrote my book.
The government, the system, our culture continue to tell us that women’s voices don’t matter.
Professor Ford is incredibly brave. Much more courageous than I am. Our voices do matter. Don’t let them fool us into thinking we are who they want us to be. Speak up.
No more assholes.