• The Knackered Truth

Doing It All


Me chasing the sunset Otaki Beach

Last night, the smoke alarm in my toddler’s room began to beep. Time to change the battery. The ceiling is quite high so it’s one of those jobs I need to rely on husband to do. I wouldn’t even reach it if I were on a step stool. I asked him to unplug it for the time being because I couldn’t find a replacement battery and I just wanted to get the poor kid off to dreamland.

My husband was able to take the battery out effortlessly. In one swift motion, he swooped his hand down to the dresser and grabbed a battery still in its packaging. Huzzah! Apparently, we had thought that one through a while ago! The alarm was working again! I was so happy this was an easy fix, I even made husband laugh at an impromptu song I sang about the lovely little battery that saved our lives and brought so much joy.

Here’s the thing: there’s been a lot going on in my sphere. I’ve experienced the darkest emotional September, and now, October is turning out to be worse. I haven’t seen this dark place in almost twenty years.


Sept 2018

It’s more than just a dark cloud hovering over me like Eeyore. It’s that dark place where everything is harder, where sleeping all the time sounds like the perfect way to cope, or escaping into a wave of drunkenness on a daily basis sounds like a good idea (thank god I’m not in my twenties anymore and know better). It’s that place where sanity is questioned, surroundings feel unsafe, and everyone in the world has turned into Brett Kavanaugh.

The house is a mess. There are blog posts to write. There’s a website overhaul taking place. I have booksellers to pitch; I have essays and articles to submit. I have books to sell. I have a kid to get to school, a toddler to take to sensory classes, a house in desperate need of cleaning, and I have a dog to take for walks. I have to fight patriarchal bullshit; I have to call senators in the USA to encourage them not to confirm a sexual predator to the Supreme Court. I have friendships to maintain. A budget to balance. I have a sick kid; I have to meditate; I have a new manuscript that wants my attention; I have books to read; I have my health to take care of, and I have a husband who is also equally as overwhelmed with his work load. I am down and then along comes another issue or conflict or cruel-life-shit that kicks me while I’m already down and did you know that grief blocks the heart chakra?

So when the smoke alarm battery was replaced without stress, without worry, without a challenge… I celebrated that shit. It was a major win in my small world. I need not worry about any fires.

It was just a low battery that needed attention.


Get it.







Loading comments...