wounds (a freewrite)
There is this deep deep deep wound permanent within my body
It starts to heal
It was healed
Then it slices open again & bleeds
Festers
Infected so I have to wash it
Daily
I feel the gash from it multiple times a day
To the point where I cry so hard I almost vomit
I ask what can be done
How do I deal with this
There are options
But reality is that I am just in it learning to live with it
There are things to numb the pain
But really
Sit
Just breathe
In a few days it will scab
There’s that pulling again
So I have to take it easy
Be gentle
Soothe thy self
Cry
Distract
I never forget that it’s there
It will always be there
The wound that will never go away
Way worse
Way deep
Way down
More painful than any human delivery
Because at least then
The outcome was love, is love
This wound is a facade & shouldn’t be there
Love that will never repair
Love that will never be real
Like the other wounds that heal, maybe
This one will be transformative too